Archive for Heavy Metal

Looks Like Chocolate, Tastes Like Shit!!!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 31, 2010 by johnkaryus

Now everything STEAMING WOLF PENIS ever recorded is yours for FREE!!! Simply go to that MySpace I just linked, and click where is says HERE!!!!

What, you never heard of STEAMING WOLF PENIS?!?!?! They are a coo-coo crazy three piece band from the Seattle area consisting of a metalhead/hippy looking guy, a sort of ironic normal looking guy, and a fucked-up monster. The fucked-up monster is named “Jerkbeast“, and resembles a constipated vampire version of H.R. Pufnstuf.

Now you can own, free of charge, such classics as “Looks Like Chocolate, Tastes Like Shit”, “Hey Man, Quit Fartin’ On My Eyepatch” and “King Tut Put His Hand In My Butt”!!! They only recorded two albums as far as I know…and both are free from the band themselves. If you are a collector of refined taste such as myself, then these two albums are a must have!

My first encounter with STEAMING WOLF PENIS was reading a review of their movie “Jerkbeast” by Andy Copp. Andy Copp is a great indie filmmaker I have know for a few years, and he writes a blog on exploitation movies you should all check out. It’s a way better way to waste your time than reading my sorry ass blog any day, that’s for damn sure.

I can’t find Andy’s original review of “Jerkbeast”. I think it was on an old website he took down. But he didn’t like it. Not one bit. I remember that distinctly. And while I consider Andy Copp a great writer, and extremely knowledgeable about b-movies…him not liking something with such contempt is often a sign I will like it. I like what he likes, but also like what he hates. It’s what he’s indifferent about that I seem to hate. Its weird that way!

Anyway, “Jerkbeast” is based on the band, which had their own public access show. Basically, these two goons and this fucked-up monster answer the phone and insult whoever answers. A simple premise with hilarious results!!!

Here is a crappy quality clip from that show. You’ll get the idea:

So, based on that, they made a movie. Those three goons write the song “Looks Like Chocolate, Tastes Like Shit”, and it catches on big time. They then have to deal with a bunch of crazy fans and the trials and tribulations of being famous. Kind of an extremely foul mouthed “A Hard Day’s Night.” I think that was what it was about anyway.

I love this show. I love this movie. I love this band. I think this band might have actually caught on as a weird/raunch act if they had called themselves JERKBEAST instead of STEAMING WOLF PENIS…but I am sure calling themselves STEAMING WOLF PENIS caught them some notice. I know I noticed it. A true Catch 22!

Like I said, I truly enjoyed all facets of this multi-media diarrhea explosion. But my taste has always been suspect. Unlike Andy, I find this brand of asshole-ism very funny. Most people do not.

You can rent JerkBeast HERE. looks out-of-print…so you can at least reserve it on your queue. I’m sure you can find it if you look hard enough!

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